I have not been able to log into this journal for a few months.  I keep meaning to try something new to get access.  Finally I realized what I needed to do.  A lot has happened since I last had an entry.  I'll try to recap what has been happening.

We are entering Emma's last year of school.  Soon she will be on a mission and off to whatever adventures she has a head of her.  She is very determined to go on a mission.  She will doing MDT again next year.  It has been fun to see her have more confident with her talents.  she has gone from not being able to sing in front of us to singing all the time.  It has impacted Hyrum.  We took hyrum to see some end of year plays at the High School.  I think he has had his mind opened to other possibilities.  He has decided he does not want to do football this Fall and instead has asked for voice lessons.  I didn't feel like I could force him to stay with football.  Because of his birthday he does not qualify to play with his friends.  he plays a year ahead and some of the kids are two yeas ahead of him in school.  I'm still trying to come to grips with it all.  Mari has decided she does not want to do sports any more and with Hyrum not playing football this will be the first Fall in about 10 years that I will not be coaching anything.  I'm ok with not coaching but I have a lot of time on my hands now.  Tiffany is very excited to have her Saturdays back.

The Summer has been very busy with camps.  It seems every week we have one of our kids off for a week.  The camp that sticks out is when Emma took her cousin Lauren to Oakcrest.  Lauren, having down syndrome, can't go to Oakcrest without a camp buddy to assist her.  Emma took her after she had already been to a camp 2 of the last three weeks.  She was very tired and I think not fully aware of what she had volunteered for.  Lauren would not have been able to go to the camp without Emma volunteering.  Once we got her home she broke down.  Exhausted, frustrated, and mentally strained.  I was very proud.

We just completed the Mutli Stake Triathlon yesterday.  I was in charge of the finish line like I have been in years past.  I got there very early and got everything set up.  Very proud of Eve.  She was nervous to do the Triathlon after her accident last year.  We took her on a bike ride last week to get ready and she cried the whole time.  she was white knuckled the whole way. She could not make a left turn.  Her elbow would lock up and not allow her to turn.  She finished the race and feel good about the outcome.  It is always good to have the Triathlon over.  We had about 400 sign up for it this year.  It grows every year. 

Mom and Dad are finally in Africa.  They were suppose to leave in June but they could not secure the Visas needed to get there.  After about a month of patience they were able to get them.  They have been there for about a month.  we Skype on Saturdays with them.  We are all trying to assist in helping Grandmother while they are away. 

Lincoln is in the MTC.  Mark asked that I smoke a bunch of pork shoulders for the farewell.  I have been able to use the smoker a lot more than I thought I would.  I was able to talk with Mark about work at Fidelity.  I have needed a mentor and have asked that he help me determine an appropriate career path.  I get into these funks where the stress of being in a high paying sales role is a bit much.  I have been in my current role for about 11-12 years.  I feel like I need to do something new.  I think the stress I have is causing some imbalance in me.  About every 2-3 years I get into a funk where I feel down, stressed, I don't eat as much.  I have been able to work through it and eventually be ok but I wonder if I changed things if I would not have this cycle of  . . .  I dont know what it is.  The last time it happened the doctor thought it was depression.  I have a new doctor now who thinks I might be able to power through if I add exercise.  I officially retired from basketball last august when I turned my ankle.  I have not yet found something to replace it.  Tiffany thinks this funk I'm in comes when we spend large amounts of money.  The last time it happened we were finishing our basement.  We spent about double what I was expecting.  I have since learned to read an invoice properly.  We are currently remodeling the kitchen.  It is a mess and we have been at it for 4-6 week.  We will not be done for at least another month.  I have started the process of moving to a support role with the insurance side of Fidelity.  It is one of the few roles that will not require a massive pay decrease.  it will still be a decrease of about 25-35% but they pay my current role to try and keep us there forever.  We should still be able to make a living at this new role.  I have been spending a lot of time this past month downloading and reconciling out finances through Quicken.  It has been a lot of work and some painful to see what we have been spending our money on.  We have had some large expenses like our patio, the fence, Eve's cello.  We have also been spending a lot on food, accessories, and other stuff we don't need.  I think we have a handle on it now.  I feel very poor.  We have the funds needed for the kitchen but I have liked how much security I felt having that cash there.  If I take this new job it will be some time before I get that back.  I have lowered how much we are adding to retirement hoping that will help.  As soon as I started the process of trying for a new position we are having a lot of success in our current role.  Tiffany feels this is a tender mercy of letting me leave the role on top.  I hope I'm leaving the role for the right reasons.  I hope I'm not looking for something that is not there.  There is a lot of security I have with the clients I work with.  Having direct access to clients is the safest job at Fidelity.  I would be leaving that to help reps like me.  Not as secure.  I have thought about trying to negotiate a move to be a manager of my current role but I'm afraid that pay cut would be too much.  I'm also concerned that at my current base I might be at risk of being paid more than others in my same role.  That might make me at risk the next time the company is looking to save some costs.  Mark tells me I can't worry about that.